It would be better if I just moved on, found someone new

but I can't.......

What hurts the most isn't that he's moving on. . . 
it's the fact that if I walk away, he won't follow me.
I can't stand that.
When he looks at me with those melt-my-heart brown eyes, 
I almost die, knowing that I had him, then lost him, for I was afraid to let anyone break my barriers. 
It's sad because he did what I tried to prevent him from doing. He smuggled his way into my heart, then ripped himself out, leaving a nasty hole in it's place.
I hate him. . .

And yet, I can't help but love him.