A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Quote by Lana Turner
5 quotes by Ricky Gervais "The office"
- If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
- If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.
- Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.
- If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it themselves.
- Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Optimist & pessimist
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
quote by Chauncey Mitchell Depew
quote by Chauncey Mitchell Depew
Consulting
If you're not part of the solution
there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem
there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem
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Speed waiting
I took a course in speed waiting.
Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
quote by Steven Wright
Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
quote by Steven Wright
Definition of wealth
Wealth:
any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year
than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
quote by H. Mencken
any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year
than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
quote by H. Mencken
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wealth
Practice ?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?"
quote by George Carlin
quote by George Carlin
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Pierced ear
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
quote by Rita Rudner
They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
quote by Rita Rudner
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Old masters
Buy old masters. They fetch a better price than old mistresses
Lord Beaverbrook
Lord Beaverbrook
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investment
Computers: female or male ?
Computers must be female. No one but the creator understands their internal logic. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Computers must be male. As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day.
If you know the author of these quotes, please react
Computers must be male. As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day.
If you know the author of these quotes, please react