Actual Answering Machine Messages.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2. This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.
3. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
4. Hi. Now YOU say something.
5. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you.
6. Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.