Dead horse strategies

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation , says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

Updated for the 21st century this could mean:

• Appointing a top advertising agency to promote the benefits of the reduced carbon hoofprint of a dead horse compared to the ridiculously out-dated and unsustainable notion of a living horse.
• Off-shoring the stabling and veterinary support of the dead horse to somewhere in the Indian sub-continent.
• Sending the dead horse on an outward bound weekend with other dead horses.

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Dead horse strategies

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation , says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

Updated for the 21st century this could mean:

• Buying a computer program to enhance dead horse performance
• Declaring a dead horse less costly than a live one
• Forming a workgroup to find uses for dead horses
• Changing performance requirements for the horse
• Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position

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Dead horse strategies

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation , says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

Updated for the 21st century this could mean:

• Bringing in a team of external consultants to focus on dead horse optimisation.
• Re-branding the dead horse a 'Fair Trade Horse', and affixing prominent Fair Trade insignia to its hind-quarters.
• Asking Richard Branson if he'd be interested in running a Virgin Dead Horse joint venture.
• Setting up an inquiry into the dead horse, preferably headed by a dead horse and answerable to other dead horses.
• Forming a task force to investigate the dead horse's positive benefits on social enterprise.
• Blaming the dead horse on the sub-prime credit crunch, thereby absolving (and enabling the obscenely generous rewarding of) those responsible for the decision to recruit an emaciated horse, starve it, and keep it in a frozen field (because the stables were sold to property developers years ago).
• Unmasking the dead horse to be in illegal immigrant, therefore author of its own misfortune, and to blame for a lot more than simply being dead on the job.

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Dead horse strategies

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation , says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

updated for the 21st century this could mean:

• Nationalising the dead horse
• Re-aligning the organizational aims to better fit the needs of the dead horse. Giving dead horse and rider a good bollocking (a favourite in previous centuries too).
• Re-structuring the dead horse's reward scale to contain a performance-related element (obviously..)
• Suspending the horse's access to the executive grassy meadow until it improves its attitude and makes good all productivity shortfalls.
• Finding a mentor or buddy for the dead horse.
• Examining the cost-savings accruing from de-skilling the dead horse function.
• Outsourcing the management and/or the riding of the dead horse to a specialist dead horse management company

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